Advertisers buy time on television shows based on demographics - statistical data showing the age, sex, income, etc of viewers. More men watch sports. More women watch daytime talk shows. More children watch cartoons. By knowing who's watching what when, advertisers can spend promotion dollars with an ad-vantage.

The Ab Rocket ads appeal to men and women. For $99.99 and five minutes a day, the Ab Rocket promises to turn flab into fab - that's why the ad works. The reason the Ab Rocket doesn't work is "it folds away for easy storage". Out of sight, out of mind - absolutely.

Botox commercials appeal to women. Because most women want the face of a twenty-year-old, the commercials say to "Express yourself with Botox". Am I the only one who thinks that's paradoxical? By removing laugh lines and frown lines doesn't Botox remove expression? Nevertheless, Hollywood actresses use it; and it's actually improved the ability of several actresses to act - young.

Unfortunately, expression lines aren't women's only problem. According to an advertisement for Dove Hair Products, "Eight out of ten women have damaged hair". The advertisement doesn't define damaged hair or tell women what causes the damage, but eight out of ten women might buy Dove Hair Products anyway. With the stress of family, home and job, women want to fix the hair and now.

In 2008 advertisers spent a record 2.4 million for a thirty-second, Super Bowl spot. I watched the Super Bowl. I saw Budweiser's Clydesdale working to make the team, I saw Life Water's lizards learning to dance, I saw Tide To-Go's talking shirt stain - but I didn't see all the commercials. I had to go to the bathroom and this year going during the actual game seemed un-Patriot-ic.

Celebrity endorsements have been an advertising tool for over 125 years. In the 1880's both Pope Leo XIII and Queen Victoria publicly praised Vin Mariani, a drink made of Bordeaux wine laced with cocaine. In fact, the Pope appeared on a poster endorsing the drink. In 1961 both Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble appeared on ads for Winston cigarettes. In 1974 football hero Joe Namath advertised Beautymist Pantyhose and in 1987 vegetarian Cybil Shepherd promoted eating beef. Obviously, not all celebrity endorsements are successful. Then there's Tiger Woods. Tiger earned more than 40 million last year from product endorsements. Of course, Tiger makes advertising success look like par for the course.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com