Life is full of unexpected ups and downs. The ups are easy to deal with because they usually affect our lives in a positive way. Unexpected downs however are trickier because they not only have a negative effect on the day-to-day routine our lives, but they can also affect the way we choose to think about our lives.

A positive person can overcome the toughest odds whereas a negative person can stumble over the slightest set-back, so keeping a positive outlook is vital when it comes to dealing with whatever life has to throw at you, and a store of romantic memories can be one of your weapons against negativity as you will be able to visit this when times aren't going so well, and remembering happier times will help re-center yourself in a more positive mindset, therefore allowing you to deal with the setback more efficiently.

Many of the worst unexpected aspects of life's interruptions involve health or employment. In both of these instances what is really knocked is your self-worth. You believe that you deserve this illness because you didn't do something, or did do something that you shouldn't.

You believe that you deserve to be passed over for promotion, or to be one of the "released" members of staff because you just aren't as sharp as some of the other employees. Your ego feels bruised and you start to sink into a mire of self pity/self loathing.

Instead of letting yourself go down that path, think instead about times in your life when you felt good about being you. Wandering through your archive of romantic memories will help you to rediscover your good points and validate you as a worthwhile person.

Sure, many of these relationships may not have worked out, some of them may have left you feeling bitter for a while until you came to a place where you accepted that things worked out for the best, but at some point all of these relationships created memories of you being wanted and desirable. This is exactly what you need right now.

Think about times when you were new in the relationship and everything around you was great. Think about special meals, special outings, watching a sunrise, missing a bus, walking in the park -- anytime when you experienced a feeling of being wanted.

Don't allow yourself to detour off the chosen path; you are only to open the boxes in your memory that say "good stuff". It doesn't matter how the relationship worked out. The only thing you are looking for is validation that you are a good person who is liked and loved by others.

When you start to feel the negative tension remove itself from your body, put the memories back into their archive. Build on the positive energy that you created with them by moving past the "victim" stage and into the "survivor" one. Assess your situation and focus on what opportunities this unexpected setback presents to you.

Romantic memories, and the emotions of love, enthusiasm and challenges are a great springboard to get you past the initial shock and into an emotional place of putting the setback into its rightful perspective so you can move on with your life -- whatever direction it's leading you.

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About the Author

Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2